There definitely feels like there is something missing from my life. Something that is holding me back from getting further ahead. Not having much of a social life outside of the Internet can make the days seem so boring. I always feel so shy and timid when it comes to social interactions. Like I will try to avoid them as much as I can, but this isn’t as bad as it used to be. This is why writing has a powerful and soothing effect on me. I can totally be myself with it. It’s relaxing. I’m not fighting an uphill battle, trying to get over a social barrier. The keys to the social life may been misplaced and I am stuck at home, but I am still comfortable with being who I am.
As a person with a mild form of autism, there are certain things I just don’t understand, just can’t grasp. Like how a person can make so many friends and keep a grasp on them all. How someone can be so energetic all of the time and can always light up a crowd. To me, being too social is emotionally draining. I have to go off by myself to recharge my batteries, to get the deep thoughts going again. Those deep thoughts are what constitute the majority of my days. Without them, I feel empty and confused.