Conversation Limited

A lively group discussion, an intimate tête-à-tête, an inner monologue — in your view, when it comes to a good conversation, what’s the ideal number of people?


As a guy born with Asperger’s, having any conversation takes a little bit of a push and some needed inspiration; I’m just so used to living in a confined shell that breaking out of that comfort zone can be stressful. The best conversation I can handle is one to two people at most and then after that it starts getting muddled and confusing. The biggest discussion I had with more than two people was fairly watered down and uneventful and I felt rather uncomfortable sharing some thoughts of mine. On the other hand, one on one discussions follow one train of thought, not multiple train tracks coming from multiple directions and they go further for me because of the continuing build of rapport and trust. One on one conversations are more serious and thoughtful than multiple person talks. Ideas get across more coherently instead of being lost in translation.

It was not until about the eleventh grade that conversation became more easier for me and I was not so intimidated by it – though I still am afraid to even talk on Skype, Hangouts, or any other video chat. I met a good, albeit crazy, friend named Josh and we seemed to hit it off from day one and never looked back. He began the spark that took me away from the notion that conversation was pointless and futile and made me realize that having friends was the key to living a well-balanced life. Josh was so full of energy and excitement; me, a mellow, calm, cool, and collected person but he managed to pull me out of that persona – for at least one year.

My uncle Jack is the one I am extremely comfortable having unrestricted conversations with. Our subjects are usually on football, food, or other people in general that we disagree with. The thing is, I sometimes leave him hanging and don’t add anything new unless asked, occupying myself with stuff I’m more interested in such as my computer, but that has been a thing I’ve been forcing myself to change.

I wouldn’t call myself the catalyst to any conversation…I’m more of the jump on board the train when it starts going at a fine pace kind of guy.

When trapped in my head

No limits to converse

Thoughts and I one on one


 Daily Prompt 10/11/14

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50 Nifty Posts

This is my journey
Everything from my mind
Capitalizing on success
Still facing the big climb
Today I have reached fifty
A nice number in it’s own right
Not everyone is recognized
Only some can stand and fight

This is my journey
And what I set out to be
Trying to be the best
That I could possibly be
I knew it wouldn’t be easy
Reaching any sort of fame
But with my keys and my brain
At least I joined the game

This is my journey
A perilous path of experiment
Destroying things that failed
And praising things that speared it
I will one day look back at this
And see how much I’ve grown
See all the bumps and bruises
And all the stuff that was sown

This is my journey
Something unique to me
Unlike anybody else
I’m the one who sees
From the first step I took
On this long journey through time
I now have something to smile back on
And realize it’s all mine
Breaking out a shell
Something that hindered me best
And now I feel alive and ready
Ready to face any test

Fifty may not seem a lot
But it sure does for me
Since so much thought and practice
Went into making them gleam
The first was a mild success
The second even better
And then after that I started
Getting beat and bloody weathered
But I battled through it and came out strong
And now I’m smelling roses
For they now are smiling and are proud
That he was one who chose us
And the sounds of time long past gone
Ripples through my pages
The times when I couldn’t hear my voice
And the days in the dark ages

This is my journey
Nearly all in a nutshell
Still adding more to it
Making my life swell
There’s no need to panic
No need to fear
Cause what I have accomplished
Makes this a great year

Celebrating 50 posts on WordPress!

I have reached a milestone in my WordPress career that began in 2013. Before September, I only had 20 and then went on a killing spree, starting with the daily prompt’s every day boosts and then branching off and doing other things as well. It has been a monumental month and half for me to say the least.

Litmus, Litmus

I have a very small circle of friends. So small, that I’m not even sure there is a circle at all; it might just be people scattered about aimlessly. Not too many new people get in or even stay in it. Only the people I trust very well and can relate to me with unbiased views manage to get a coveted seat in the circle. You might say my circle has nepotism in it – favoring one’s relatives or friends and giving them preferential treatment. There is no application or set of questions to get into my “circle”. You just have to fit in naturally.

After brooding over this a while, I believe there really is no single question I could come up with that would determine whether or not I could be friends with someone. Simply because I can easily tell if someone will be a good friend to me by just looking at them (at least in the physical world – not online). If the person remained kind and loyal to me over a certain period of time, I would eventually come to accept them as my friend. It would be rather easy to see that a friendship wouldn’t work if that person and I just did not get along at all on anything. If there is no harmony or controlled chaos (yes, that is contradictory), then a friendship is highly unlikely.

Based upon my experiences with making friends, I know a good friendship consists of two or more people complementing each other, not exactly being alike but offering something that makes the others constantly improve by evolving ideas and bringing new things to the table. Friendly competitions among the group push each other to new levels that strengthen each person’s knowledge and ingenuity. There are arguments, but eventually everyone agrees on a consensus. A bad friendship doesn’t do that. It involves one another constantly competing with each other and never coming to any agreements, with eventual ideas wilting or only being half-baked.

But you still insist I come up with a question and an appropriate answer to it. Well, it was tough to come up with a selective question because I’ve never needed one in the past but I guess that question would be:

“Can you be similar to me in interests and thoughts, but not too similar that neither of us ever get anywhere or advance each other in terms of knowledge and success?”

And the potential answer from potential friend, after some ponderous thought:

“Well, I’m not sure if both of those parameters can be met perfectly but yes, I’m sure we have many things in common that will put us in harmony but also conflicting viewpoints that will constantly make us want to compete with each other and improve each other’s status. In other words, if I do or say something that you don’t completely go by, we could settle our differences with a little bit of friendly fire, trying to make each other understand that one’s views and decisions are his and are no right or better than others. By having these friendly arguments, we push each other to become better; to refocus our life goals and be better prepared to take on any interpersonal challenge that comes our way. It is a good way to bring up new ideas and decide if they are a good fit or not. Like fusing two elements together, our thoughts and ideas can combine to form something new and remarkable that will benefit both of us and possibly other people”.

Because without a little competition in a friendship, nothing new or exciting can ever come out of it. It will be constantly stuck in neutral, never evolving to allow each other to ascend new heights and become the person they always wanted to be. The answer to my question is not a definitive one and does not have to be that long. I just simply have to know, either in the person’s voice or their body language, that they have the will and motivation to do something interesting and eventful while also pushing me to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone. Think about how many companies, such as Apple, or bands, such as U2, would have never reached the success they are at right now, if not for a little bit of fighting and disagreeing over things. There has to be that edge that pushes a friendship or partnership past its limits to be able to explore new possibilities.


In Response to the Daily Prompt: Litmus Test

If I Had Never Known My Father

If I had only met my father just today, I don’t know what I would say to him. Would I shake his hand or give him an awkward hug? Casually greet him with uncertainty or shout with joy at how excited I was to finally see him? For one thing, I know his outlook on me would be totally different than what is has been. He wouldn’t know about my faults and would be less likely to judge me. I believe there would be more conversation and not so much of that ‘icy wall’ between us. We might be willing to share more of our well kept secrets than we normally would have if I had known him for my entire life since it would not be so embarrassing.

On the other hand, it might be harder to relate to him because we both have difficulty starting conversations and having anything interesting to talk about. Our relationship would be rather awkward at first but eventually I believe we could be great friends, just on a less intimate level. I know I would be calling him by his first name for a while because there wouldn’t be that commanding respect between us right away and I could know him on a more personal level. That would be quite appropriate for a relationship in the early stages of development; a newly seeded plant sprouting up from the ground for the first time; a pillow still fluffy and fresh; a brand new book just opened with pages that feel like air and ink as crisp as night.

My dad would likely want to do more fun things with me, more father-son activities such as going to sporting events, fishing, or even nights out on the town. He does have artificial hips and can’t do a whole lot of strenuous work but he could at least try to go more places with me and participate in certain activities, knowing that he is trying to be a good father. I believe there would be more of a will to get to know each other and not just forcing it. There wouldn’t be any grudges between us, other than the fact that I had not known him until now.

It would be shocking at first to know that we share some of the same traits both mentally and physically. Other than hating the fact that I have things in common with my dad that are not quite up to par with what other people believe are ‘normal’, I would embrace these things because a connection would be formed between us. There is a bit of love between us right now, but if I had only just met him today I believe that would be amplified. I would want to spend as much time as possible with my father to make up for all the lost time that we could have spent together. It would be more mutual and honest; we wouldn’t hold anything back; the relationship would not be stunted and crippled like it is now but would grow into a tall, healthy, and impressive looking redwood. That would mean more than anything to me.


In Response to the Daily Prompt: Delayed Contact

Bieber Bashing

There was once a kid named Bieber

Who set the world on fire with his voice

But that just wasn’t enough to win people over

So he had to resort to bad choice

And now he sits in exile

With all the looks and fame dried up

This would be in 2030

When our new home is Mars

And Bieber’s music isn’t even worth a buck