The Flangiprop Effect

PTDC0251

The flangiprop, a portmanteau of the two words flange (informal spelling of phalange for finger) and prop, anything used to supplement a play or show or hold something up, is the world’s most commonly used and obsessed about object.

There is nearly no one these days without a mobile device. It is why the word ‘selfie’ has found a niche place among the photographic realm and why Instagram exists. Why there are so many narcissists these days, mainly among the 18-20 something crowd. Why searching the Internet is no longer a complicated process but is literally at your fingertips.

Having a flangiprop in your hand is liking wielding a sword or gun. It is an extension of you and gives you great power. Without it, you feel vulnerable and cut off from the world.

A flangiprop for televisions was invented because people were too lazy to get up and change the channel or adjust the volume. Why get up from the couch when you can just use a remote to control nearly everything? Take a look at the pre-flangiprop TV days and now and you will see the difference between the healthy and fit and the obese.

My first flangiprop in the phone sense was a Marble flip phone from Virgin Mobile. The best thing about it was the game “Brick Break”, which I played nightly. This is where I learned how to text. The screen got busted one day though when the phone was in my back pocket and I accidentally sat on it while sitting down at lunch. It was the phone I put in the first number I ever received from a girl and I was going to call her but the busted screen blocked everything and she said she was already dating somebody.

Flangiprops have evolved over the years. As phones, they used to be big and bulky, those huge brick mobile phones that had a long antenna. Then they only got smaller and more complex. Smaller phones with screens brought about the texting generation. Then flip phones added style and personality. Slider phones were a short fad in the early 2000s, offering a slide out keyboard for easier typing. Finally, the iPhone came around and touch, elegance, and simplicity were the main focus. Android started up to rival iOS and the two now go hand in hand for the most part, besides not allowing cross-running of apps. The shape of all smartphones is basically uniform. Apps are what rule the phones now and what make them so marketable. Careers have been started up because of the popularity of apps on these flangiprops.

But let’s not forget about iPads and other tablets. These flangiprops are also very useful. They act as smaller mobile computers with almost the full capabilities of a laptop but not quite. You can carry your flangiprop tablet anywhere you want and pull it out with ease and use it while walking but using a laptop like that would be awkward.

The last flangiprop gaming device I possessed was a Gameboy Advance back in 2004. My very first game for the GBA was named Denki Blocks!, a fun and challenging puzzle game that I have recently rediscovered as an online game and is just as addicting as it was back then.

Now flangiprop gaming isn’t all that specialized anymore or too expensive or cumbersome, having to buy the games separately in stores, with games being available to download on smartphones and tablets. You can now do everything from texting, picture-taking, emailing, Internet, and gaming all from one flangiprop, different from the 90s and early 2000s when handheld gaming was limited to a specialized gaming device from the company.

Sometimes, one should put down their flangiprops (whatever they are used for) and learn to have real conversations face to face instead of being immersed in technology. I don’t have this problem since I don’t use my phone much but I am on my laptop constantly every day. I suppose that would count as a flangiprop in a way since I use my fingers to operate it.

So that is what flangiprop means. This is not an entirely new thing because they have been around since antiquity in the forms of slates and stone tablets. Even stone age humans used rocks and spears as flangiprops. A pen or a pencil is also a flangiprop. Basically anything you hold in your hand or use your hands to manipulate is this awesome word created by the Daily Post crew.

I believe I’ve stated my case great enough for this to be added to the new edition of Merriam-Webster. I’m hoping they listen to me, because I believe this deserves just as much love as ‘twerk’.


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Flangiprop!.”

Invent a definition for the word “flangiprop,” then use the word in a post. 

Advertisements

Politically Incorrect

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?
retard

I can’t really write the word in the title itself. Can’t even say it aloud. It would be too offensive to myself and many other people out there. I hate it when ignorant people use it so nonchalantly to describe a slow, mentally challenged person or even to describe a thing, idea, situation, or place that is stupid. In fact, I was called this word once and it was really hurtful, cut deep. No one understood that I had difficulty initiating conversation and preferred to keep to myself, couldn’t express ideas verbally.

Having that offensive word come up in some comments on my past YouTube videos also was harsh. I had one video where I was trying to sing a song and screwed up badly, sounding really pathetic and looking real bad in the dark as well. I took the video down immediately after seeing the comment “Are you retarded?”. Yeah, the video was bad and asking for such reaction, but being called that word for the first time on the internet was shocking. It happened a few other times. I learned to deal with it, knew I was better that, was a perfectly normal person inside.

Words are worse than physical violence. You can heal from a bruise or wound but the things people say or write stay with you for a long time, rolling over and over in your mind.

Saying a mentally handicapped person is “just a retard” is like saying they are just some insignificant schmutz that should be scraped up and thrown in the garbage. But these people have feelings and human rights and should be called the more politically correct term “special”.

I knew a few mentally handicapped people in school. They were laughed at and called names and basically outcasted from groups, sitting at the “special” table at lunch. Some kids were afraid to even be near them. Tried to act nice but on the inside thought of them as a person who could easily be manipulated and used. I preferred not to join in the laughter and pleasure at ridiculing the shortcomings of these unfortunate people because I could feel their humility and pain in myself. I was in their situation once. It would seem hypocritical of myself to laugh at someone with autism, since that is exactly what I’ve got, in a mild way.

Already, schools are banning the use of this word and effectively rendering the old-school bullying tactics obsolete. Medical professionals now prefer the term “intellectually disabled” when ironically “mental retardation” was previously used to replace more derogatory terms such as “idiot” and “imbecile”. It’s just that over the years this word has gone from a sterile and clinical term meaning “delayed, underdeveloped” to a cutting insult because of it being used so many times in a bad way.

In my world, this word would be permanently banned. The consequence for using it? At least ten years in prison. Maybe more. Seems too harsh? No, because there is no excuse to use this word, to throw it around like it’s just okay, like the N-word situation. Everyone would have some sort of detection device that picks up the word being used. It goes off, they are immediately escorted to the authorities. That’s my dystopian future way of doing things.

My mom even uses the word like it is nothing, even over the phone or when someone fitting that word’s description walks by. I feel sorry for her thinking like that. That black and white, no middle ground to anything thinking. I dislike it. It sounds so bad. No one should make jokes about intellectually disabled people. It’s not their fault they were born that way, not their fault their family history is probably ripe with inbreeding and other poor decisions. I always wonder what the ignorant people would think if they were in that disabled person’s position and being made fun of. For one day at least. Then what?


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “No, Thank You.”

The Meaning of Success

Photo Credit: leadershipidn.com

What is success?

It still eludes me so. I take two steps forward, two steps back, lose my grip, fall down hard, but always get back up and try again. The grass is always greener. There’s always tomorrow. Failure is what makes me stronger, it is not a bad thing, it is an essential ingredient to any success story. And the more I fail the more I learn. The more I learn how not to fail.

It takes patience, skill to reach the plateau. I’m still fighting my troubles, my worries, and my demons. I want to get up there, up to the place where everything’s swell, where all the others bask in the glory, but a door always blocks my way. I try to get in, but am always rejected, being given a good kick to the shins. “Not yet,” a cold hard voice always shouts at me. And sometimes it’s a few stumbles back down the ladder, having to readjust and fix my mistakes.

I mistook success to be instant gratification, an overnight conversion, when in reality it’s a lifetime battle, a struggle against odds. I must perfect my craft if I am to move on. I must seize the dream I desire and start making it a reality. That must be my problem. I’ve never had any goals in mind. Life has always been a vague mystery to me. There’s always been a dark shadow looming over myself. I’m finally seeing the light though, a sense of direction. I’ll get there someday, just with the scars of many battles fought and setbacks experienced. My blogging experience for one has seen many posts trashed, hours wasted to only get nothing in return. Discouragement I get. I start to believe I’m a good writer and the infamous zeros stare back at me. I’m all of a sudden an amateur again, shades of 2013. This post is not just about that in general but about all the failures in my life that I have had to live with. I’ve gone to many job interviews in my life and so far only came back with one yes, which turned out to a total scam because everyone got “hired” right on the spot. My short stint as a sales rep selling knives I’m speaking of.

They always tell you as a kid you can grow up to be whatever you want to be, that the sky’s the limit to potential. Well, I’m just now figuring out what exactly that is. Is it a chef? A photographer? A designer? An engineer? A writer? A profound blogger? I’m taken some of the steps to reach my goals, learning valuable skills and lessons along the way. I’ve gone to college and graduated. I’ve gained valuable skills at an internship. The signs are finally being pointed in the right direction, the words becoming visible in my minds eye. Blurriness is subsiding. That grey matter of the unknown is finally disappearing. I no longer see the world in just black and white. It’s not just a simple yes or no but there are multiple avenues I can choose.

I have a one track mind. When I get to doing something, I can only focus on it and only it and exclude out everything else around me. When I’m in blog mode, it’s full concentration, my thoughts being channeled into my ideal inspiration. Any distractions throw my off completely. When I accidentally erase my entire post 500 words in and it can’t be recovered, I throw my hands up, the love put into all those words moot points then. When I’m deep into reading a good novel, any disturbances upset me and ruin my flow. When I’m in the middle of a tough battle in a video game, my full attention must be on not letting the enemy get the upper hand, not pinning me in a corner. Of course, video games aren’t real life. You can always die and try again. You can also cheat your way to success. A Up Up Down Up B.  In real life you go to jail for that.

So I’m finally figuring out success. Or success is finally figuring me out. It’s not what you gain in life that makes you great, it’s what brings you happiness each day you set about doing what you love. Money = success, yes, but without the joy and happiness that comes along with that wealth, and the friends and family to share it with, it is a cold lonely life for the individual. I would love to make lots of money doing what I love, but I would never want to outcast my family and never speak to them again.


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Dictionary, Shmictionary.”

Time to confess: tell us about a time when you used a word whose meaning you didn’t actually know (or were very wrong about, in retrospect).

Pull Up A Jastelo, Mate

So, out of the blue let’s say we don’t call a chair a chair anymore. Instead, it is called…a jastelo.  A random word from my mind that replaces the old aged one, something new and exciting. Google auto-correct suggests that it be changed to tasteless. Hmm…that’s interesting. Maybe I don’t have any taste in choosing this word. There’s really no meaning behind it. I just felt like pulling a Frindle on this one since I’ve lacking creativity to think of something sensible. By the way, that book is nearly 20 years old, and the last time I heard it read was back in third grade by a much younger Mr. Davidson.

Relax in a comfy Queen Anne jastelo today

Jastelo [jos – tell – oh] : a piece of furniture used for reclining or relaxation. Coined by a tasteless blogger sometime in 2015.

“Hey, thanks for joining us. Pull up a chair, mate.”

“A what?”

“A chair. Come join us. We’ve got cards and cold beer.”

“What’s a chair?”

“What do you mean? A chair is what you sit in, you silly bloke. Grab one from that table over there.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is jastelo.”

“Huh? Jastelo? Quit messing around, that’s not a word, least one I’ve heard of yet.”

“Sure it is. You’re all sitting in jastelos now. Kind of old and worn but they serve well.”

“So, you’re saying that you’ve decided to replace the ordinary word chair with this nonsense word you apparently made up?”

“Yup, and everyone is going to be using it in no time. From now on, no one will say chair again.”

“You sure about that? I can think of a two million people who would be happy with saying cha –

“No, say jastelo. This has to catch on. First this entire pub, then the entire city, then the state, then the country, then the world, and then aliens from other worlds will pick up on the word – just kidding about that.”

“You’re a crazy nutter, ya know that?”

“Say that again in about a year when this thing goes viral.”

“Okay then. Grab a jastelo and get ready to witness the greatest card player in the world take down these goons. Or should I call this game…folps?”

“Nah, won’t catch on.”

“Says you.”

One year later….

“Alright, kids. Who wants to play musical jastelos?”, asks a teacher to her group of kindergartners.

“Yeah!”, they all scream, piling around the carpet.

A video is shot of another instance of this game with a new name and seen on YouTube. I happen to watch it and smile, reclining and relaxing in my chair – I mean jastelo. At least two-thirds of the world now use the word jastelo everyday – and it’s universal in language as well, replacing that other word that was becoming dull and unimaginative.

Doing a random Google search for my new word, I find over two million hits for it, from mentions on blogs, news sites, videos, and in the title of trending songs as well, one by country superstar Brad Paisley – “As I Sit In My Jastelo (Waiting For You)”.

March 6, 2017

“Welcome to channel 7 news at six. This is Brian McGregor reporting.”

“Thank you. Our first topic of the evening has to do with the Washington school board voting down the 24/7 use of police officers around the school. The head jasteloman of the board – there’s that word again that has taken the world by storm – spoke with us today about the issue.”

“So, Mr. Chair – I mean Jasteloman, what made the board decide to vote this down?”

“Well, we figured having an all day surveillance around the building would cost more money and would not be very good for student and faculty moral as well. We want to create a safe environment but not one that has everyone in fear.”

Sometime in 2070

They all gathered around the gravestone in the evening tribute, over three thousand people ranging from famous celebrities, jubilant fans, important businessman and friends and family. There was a grand musical performance by a famous singer as well as a large banquet of delicious food.

On this person’s headstone said this:

Here lies the creator of the word jastelo. May we forever use it with pride and respect.


 In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: Play Lexicographer

Create a new word and explain its meaning and etymology.

Some other interesting takes on this:

dljordanwriting | weirdyshmeerdybeard

Passion Through Poetry | FOMOphobia

Seezooeyrun | Lexiography 

Tenacious D(ictionary)

Time to confess: tell us about a time when you used a word whose meaning you didn’t actually know (or were very wrong about, in retrospect).


Dictionary, schmictionary – and other nonsense phrases from the people who brought us WordPress and the Daily Post – and now they want me to confess a word I remember using incorrectly. What do they mean by confess? It’s not like it’s an embarrassing thing for me to have used a cool sounding word and then had it snatched out my hands from the big bully called Dictionary and his (or her) little brother Thesaurus Rex; I’ve got nothing to hide. Well you know what, company run by a parent that screams of sweat labor and autonomous machines, you can suck it, cause after nearly a whole day of trying to find a word, I still have nothing.

Basically my thoughts during the process: Trying to think of a word…some amazing word I remember using wrongly…searching the memory banks…ugh, so vague…c’mon mind, give me something…no, not exuberant or skulduggery…guess I’ll consult Google and Mr. Webster.

So below are just some rather intelligent, impressive sounding words – that one might find lodged into a verbose university research paper coming off as snobbish and rude – used in respected ways:

Leo Arnold’s strong acumen was the key to the failing business getting back on it’s feet. True, his tutelage for the company’s assets and shares made the process a lot less tenacious. Growing up in a house run by a majordomo had a big effect on Arnold’s later roles in life, assuming the helmsman role of his squads, taking charge when needed. His bourgeois upbringing is what led him to become the CEO of a major energy company, knowing first-hand how the middle-class thought and what their sine qua non was.

I love the word “bourgeois” – just figured out how to pronounce it today and it sounds gorgeous, with that smooth French flow off the tongue. An image and smell of red roses comes to mind. I also discovered the definition for it as well – applying to the middle class. Bourgeois does not entirely explain my family, even though we are in the middle class, since we are not materialistic or occupied with small-minded things; the feature image has nothing to do with my life, I just love the word.

Joseph Stalin, the notorious Soviet Union demagogue, had another, more convoluted name, by that of Iosif Vissarionovich Stalin; born Ioseb Besarionis Dze Jugashvili. Yeah, try saying the latter name even two times fast.

You know what they said back then in Russia when somebody was holding up the line? Ostanovka Stalin! (Stop Stalin!)

A pernicious gas by the name of Adolf Hitler billowed through the high streets of Germany during the 1930s and ’40s – and I’m using that in an ironic way.

Margaret Lovehue traipsed into the meeting with complete insouciance to the fact that she was late, her nonchalant behavior definitive of her so-called gift wrapped life.

Fernando ambulated into the sweet-scented room and was immediately awestruck by the voluptuous arrangements all around, not to mention the sultry woman who came sauntering out of the debonair bathroom wearing nothing but skimpy lingerie.

Wait…I think I just did it…I used “debonair” in the sentence above, looked it up, and discovered it had been used in the incorrect way. A debonair is someone who is careful, elegant, and gracious in nature, especially pertaining to a man…and after some careful scavenging, found no mention of it pertaining to a place or thing like the bathroom that doesn’t have a personality; it just popped into my head as I was writing and I thought it sounded peachy keen. So there you go. Found something after playing around a bit with words. Happy now, WordPress?