Finding My Voice – One Year Later


Has it really been a year since I published I Only Came For the Cheesecake…?

Wow, I have really grown up a lot since then. Maybe too much.

That was the very first post I submitted to the Daily Prompt grid and how I came to meet many bloggers I am following now and have become inspired by to pursue such a wonderful activity. The post is actually really good for my first try, yes, even the title that I still dig, and it helped launch my interest in blogging in bigger ways than before. It was posted when the Daily Prompt grid went with the oldest posts on top and the newest ones near the bottom, but the Happiness Engineers reversed that. I feel like such a nerd for knowing that.

Writing is hard, I’m come to know very well, especially when I’m writing not just for myself but for others to read as well. That’s the interesting thing about blogging. You are writing for others to see your work and connect with you, so it all hinges on creating engaging content and making sure you are saying the right things. A simple thing like a confusing sentence structure or being too wordy can throw things off. Writing about the right things is also important. I have never known myself to be a controversial writer, deciding to go with nicey nice posts that don’t hurt any one’s feelings. Photography and poetry are my strengths and what I usually lean to when all else fails. It’s not stuff that’s going to tip the scales or get social media buzzing but at least it’s something I enjoy and can use to propel this blog forward. I don’t try to force my humor either. It will only sound good if it comes natural and flows with the rest of my writing and if others can understand it. But sometimes not understanding it is a good thing because it gets people thinking.

Very rarely, if ever, do I talk about relevant news topics, since my style of writing is just not up for that. Thinking deep and getting a creative edge is just too much work. Getting the scoop on topics before they air to the world requires a great deal of work and expertise. I’m not Mark Aldrich, who is probably the best to go to when getting the first hand details on relevant topics. He doesn’t just talk about the news, he dissects it and picks up on what others miss. Of course, he’s a professional writer in the New York area and I’m just a lowly blogger who’s trying his best with what he’s got – his heart and mind. I’m never been to writing school or received any prestigious awards in real life, other than an MLK essay contest award in 6th grade that probably no one else but me tried very hard on. But all that matters is I be myself.

I’m not perfect, not that I ever wanted to be. Being a little rough around the edges and having to learn from my mistakes is what makes me special inside. I feel better when I have something to prove, when I get kicked down a few steps on my way up the pyramid of excellence. I may never reach the tippy top but the journey on the way there always will be exciting. I like receiving praise for my work, but too much gets my head too big and I end up doing something stupid. Of course, I don’t want total silence. That really bugs me.

One year ago, on September 16th, I started posting regularly on this blog that has seen so many changes it’s hard to even count. I’ve changed my blog name from the vague one word acronym I created as a naive 21 year old to ‘this is my journey’ and back to ‘macbofisbil’ again and then to ‘The World Through My Eyes’ and I’m still not sure I’m set on it but I think it is a much more descriptive name than my original title, because at least it tells something about this little corner of mine. The theme and header have changed as well, from the really gaudy to the really elegant and imaginative. I’ll probably change it a couple more times in the future, because that is what keeps me inspired and fresh.

I always had a fear of blogging or public writing in general. Before I started this project as I like to call it, I didn’t even have an interest in internet writing as I found it very tedious and not fit for a young, inexperienced lad like me. I wouldn’t even know what to write about or if anyone would bother reading it. That was always my fear, that I would be terribly embarrassed by an unknown crowd or suffer the cold shoulder of being ignored. As a high school student, I feared that what I was going to write would sound cheesy and really childish. But it’s through the process of blogging regularly for a year now that I have started to figure out just what makes me tick and have gained my confidence. I’ll never be a ranting blogger who likes to get people upset or throw darts at topics, because I’m not that kind of blogger. I’m nice and I don’t want to sound too mean or like an idiot who doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. I don’t think I would ever receive any hateful comments on here, unlike YouTube’s comment section which is a virtual firepit of hate, and I still haven’t to this day because blogging isn’t like that, at least not in this polite G-rated part of WordPress.

I’m no longer afraid of blogging or reaching out to the community. I’m just afraid this is going to be my life from now on and I can never get out of it. The horror of being tied to doing a Daily Prompt everyday from now on – scary imagery. Maybe I should get out before it’s too late? Maybe I should get a life? Maybe I should get on a reality show and have some fun for a change? Oh well…this is my life and I love it.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Phobia, Shmobia.”

Fears evolve over time. What is one fear you’ve conquered?