Quite Shampoo, That Man Is

Overclocking is now to gaming

As golden is now brilliant

Bingeing is to TV

Hot is to killing it

Minute is to small

And forever has a duration

Rock is to music

Cooking is to domination

And now I have found a word that deserves a new twist

It is shampoo, and it’s a word that just has to exist

 

A brief explanation:

Shampoo is a word that originally came from India and was adopted into English around the late 1700s. It is derived from the Hindu word chāmpo, itself derived from the Sanskrit root capayati – to press, knead, soothe.

Shampoo your hair. Shampoo the carpet. Shampoo the dog.

In the modern, more interesting sense:

Hundreds of years from now, or even earlier, the word shampoo will go from being solely a name for a cleaning product to describing the process of cleaning, scrubbing, or erasing anything in general.

When applied to humans, to be shampoo is to be squeaky clean and free of any criminal record. A shampoo man or woman is someone who is a natural, law-abiding citizen and strives to do what is right and teach others to as well.

As a verb, it could mean to free someone of charges or prove that they are innocent.

“I’m going to shampoo your name and save you from going to jail.”

“That man couldn’t hurt a soul. He’s the most shampoo person I’ve seen.”

“The politicians tried to dig up dirt on the presidential candidate, but all they found was a purely shampoo profile.”

Will this catch on in real life? Only time can tell. I believe it will start as an urban slang word and gradually work its way into the mainstream dialect

“That’s quite shampoo, man” = “There’s nothing wrong with that, man. It’s perfect.”

This is all I could come up with for this prompt today, so bear with me if my idea is a little silly. I always have a hard time with these prompt ideas, because I am stumped from the beginning.


Language evolves. The meaning of a word can shift over time as we use it differently — think of “cool,” “heavy,” or even “literally.”

Today, give a word an evolutionary push: give a common word a new meaning, explain it to us, and use it in the title of your post.

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Pull Up A Jastelo, Mate

So, out of the blue let’s say we don’t call a chair a chair anymore. Instead, it is called…a jastelo.  A random word from my mind that replaces the old aged one, something new and exciting. Google auto-correct suggests that it be changed to tasteless. Hmm…that’s interesting. Maybe I don’t have any taste in choosing this word. There’s really no meaning behind it. I just felt like pulling a Frindle on this one since I’ve lacking creativity to think of something sensible. By the way, that book is nearly 20 years old, and the last time I heard it read was back in third grade by a much younger Mr. Davidson.

Relax in a comfy Queen Anne jastelo today

Jastelo [jos – tell – oh] : a piece of furniture used for reclining or relaxation. Coined by a tasteless blogger sometime in 2015.

“Hey, thanks for joining us. Pull up a chair, mate.”

“A what?”

“A chair. Come join us. We’ve got cards and cold beer.”

“What’s a chair?”

“What do you mean? A chair is what you sit in, you silly bloke. Grab one from that table over there.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is jastelo.”

“Huh? Jastelo? Quit messing around, that’s not a word, least one I’ve heard of yet.”

“Sure it is. You’re all sitting in jastelos now. Kind of old and worn but they serve well.”

“So, you’re saying that you’ve decided to replace the ordinary word chair with this nonsense word you apparently made up?”

“Yup, and everyone is going to be using it in no time. From now on, no one will say chair again.”

“You sure about that? I can think of a two million people who would be happy with saying cha –

“No, say jastelo. This has to catch on. First this entire pub, then the entire city, then the state, then the country, then the world, and then aliens from other worlds will pick up on the word – just kidding about that.”

“You’re a crazy nutter, ya know that?”

“Say that again in about a year when this thing goes viral.”

“Okay then. Grab a jastelo and get ready to witness the greatest card player in the world take down these goons. Or should I call this game…folps?”

“Nah, won’t catch on.”

“Says you.”

One year later….

“Alright, kids. Who wants to play musical jastelos?”, asks a teacher to her group of kindergartners.

“Yeah!”, they all scream, piling around the carpet.

A video is shot of another instance of this game with a new name and seen on YouTube. I happen to watch it and smile, reclining and relaxing in my chair – I mean jastelo. At least two-thirds of the world now use the word jastelo everyday – and it’s universal in language as well, replacing that other word that was becoming dull and unimaginative.

Doing a random Google search for my new word, I find over two million hits for it, from mentions on blogs, news sites, videos, and in the title of trending songs as well, one by country superstar Brad Paisley – “As I Sit In My Jastelo (Waiting For You)”.

March 6, 2017

“Welcome to channel 7 news at six. This is Brian McGregor reporting.”

“Thank you. Our first topic of the evening has to do with the Washington school board voting down the 24/7 use of police officers around the school. The head jasteloman of the board – there’s that word again that has taken the world by storm – spoke with us today about the issue.”

“So, Mr. Chair – I mean Jasteloman, what made the board decide to vote this down?”

“Well, we figured having an all day surveillance around the building would cost more money and would not be very good for student and faculty moral as well. We want to create a safe environment but not one that has everyone in fear.”

Sometime in 2070

They all gathered around the gravestone in the evening tribute, over three thousand people ranging from famous celebrities, jubilant fans, important businessman and friends and family. There was a grand musical performance by a famous singer as well as a large banquet of delicious food.

On this person’s headstone said this:

Here lies the creator of the word jastelo. May we forever use it with pride and respect.


 In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: Play Lexicographer

Create a new word and explain its meaning and etymology.

Some other interesting takes on this:

dljordanwriting | weirdyshmeerdybeard

Passion Through Poetry | FOMOphobia

Seezooeyrun | Lexiography 

Poetic Alphabet

Prompt: Write down the letters of the alphabet. For each one, choose a word that begins with that letter. Now, write a post about anything — using all the words you’ve selected.


All birds called

Dreadfully, endlessly

For golden hearts induced

Joyful kaleidoscopes

Loved momentarily

Now organizing

Poetic questioning

Remembering stars

Traveling under violet

Westward x’s, yearning zenith

4


DP #73 : “Alphabet Soup”

Swinging With The Spainards

Hola, amigos. It has been quite a while since I have blogged and I am excited to get going again. Since I last left there have been quite a lot of adventures that I have partaken, some in particular were me posing with a jay-hawk and slipping on the ice and landing on my tush, rather comically. Going off on a tangent…

Image

Learning another language is a major challenge. Just ask me, who still can’t manage to get that fantastic “rolled r” sound down. I just sound ridiculous when I try. In particular, I have been trying to learn Spanish which I seem to be more comfortable with learning than other foreign tongues. It’s not just about memorizing a long list of words translated from English. You have to speak the words in complete sentences and try to have a fluent conversation. In real life you aren’t going to have the luxury of having the conversation slowed down so you can understand what is being said. No, in reality, those frigging Mexicans and what nots seem to speak a mile a minute that you wonder if the people native to that language can even understand. Like speeding up a song so that it is barely comprehensible. And unlike English, if you say a word a particular way, for instance, it could mean something else and possibly offend someone. And in some of the most ruthless countries that most likely means getting stabbed and left to die alone. Oh, the horror.

Anyways…it is a work in progress and by no means will I succeed at having the trusty weapon of a second language tucked under my belt in a matter of weeks. It might take months or even years to finally watch a movie in Spanish without the English subtitles on. Spanish is a beautiful and artful language that is more flexible than standard American-speak. Words can be rearranged to convey different meanings, unlike English which follows strict guidelines unless you are Shakespeare or Yoda (Different ways, arranged these words they be). I’m getting into the meat and potatoes of an independent at home Spanish course online. It seems to be helping me and I have managed to string a couple of sentences together without the help of Google Translate. Hooray for me. I’m off to a nice start but doubt I will get to the point of speaking effortlessly without paying top dollar for the whole deal, the whole lesson package. If I bought that then I could learn the lessons on the go or when I’m out for walks, instead of being tied down to my computer. One night while my dad was snoozing I was repeating words from the Spanish course in a normal speaking voice. He overheard me and said, between chainsaw snores, “Be quiet”.

Another fantasy of mine has been to visit another country such as China and immerse my self in the language of the land. I’ve heard that’s the most effective way to start building up your confidence because I would be among people of different culture and background. As soon as I got used to their ways the language portion would not seem like such a challenge to me anymore. It would become an extension of myself in a sort of way, another part of me that I can switch on and off whenever the situation calls for it.

Then again, getting dumped into a country I have no experience with would feel like a nightmare for a while. I wouldn’t know what was being said or if people were saying things about me that weren’t very nice. I guess it would be helpful to have a translator on my side. I could be like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai, learning Chinese rather quickly and fluently and then fighting a huge hoard of angry Chinamen and living to tell the tale. Nothing like a fish out of water, eh?

Well, next time I talk I should be able to go a restaurant and order my meal in Spanish – to the annoyance of the waitress who I might impress and score a date with. Or not.

See you later. ¡Hasta la vista, lectores y seguidores!