Slow Dog Halloween


A new, slightly nonsensical, version of Shakespeare’s Sonnet #141:

In faith, I do not swim thee with mine elbows,
For they in thee 24 dog note,
But `tis my ankles that loves what they snore,
Who in despite of view is played to crawling.
Nor are mine toes with thy tongue`s Christmas Tree delighted,
Nor mad feeling, to base suns prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, die to be snowed
To any slow Halloween with thee alone:
But my five cookies nor my 13 senses can
Dissuade one foolish Belly Button from fishing thee,
Who leaves moved the likeness of a cow,
Thy proud heart`s janitor and singer to be:
Only my flu thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me hop awards me science.

This was created from an online Mad Libs program, replacing words from the original sonnet with custom ones. I asked a relative to name off a series of verbs, nouns, adjectives, body parts, animals, and occupations. It’s quite a silly but interesting game. A few lines of the poem actually make some sense, like the first one.

Mad Libs

Shakespearean Love

Injected blood

Body’s hot blood

A stream of truth

Forcing out the

Most secretive answers

From memory bank and

Through the mouth

To open stale air

And the ears

Of his adversary

Solving the hard case

Saving a fragile case

Against his will

For their own selfish

Acts of discovery

He told them everything

About the way she

Stared back into his

Heartless eyes

How he grasped her

Closely and told her

Not to scream

And then by ominous chance

His hand slipped

A deadly serum

Into her pretty neck

And he watched her

Die in his arms

A most tragic scene

Like Romeo and Juliet

In Shakespeare’s final

Act of foolish love

Later on

He would do the same

Just to be with her

In a cold dark room far away

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Truth Serum.”

Another prompt repeat, my favorite. See my first response over a year ago.

Swinging With The Spainards

Hola, amigos. It has been quite a while since I have blogged and I am excited to get going again. Since I last left there have been quite a lot of adventures that I have partaken, some in particular were me posing with a jay-hawk and slipping on the ice and landing on my tush, rather comically. Going off on a tangent…


Learning another language is a major challenge. Just ask me, who still can’t manage to get that fantastic “rolled r” sound down. I just sound ridiculous when I try. In particular, I have been trying to learn Spanish which I seem to be more comfortable with learning than other foreign tongues. It’s not just about memorizing a long list of words translated from English. You have to speak the words in complete sentences and try to have a fluent conversation. In real life you aren’t going to have the luxury of having the conversation slowed down so you can understand what is being said. No, in reality, those frigging Mexicans and what nots seem to speak a mile a minute that you wonder if the people native to that language can even understand. Like speeding up a song so that it is barely comprehensible. And unlike English, if you say a word a particular way, for instance, it could mean something else and possibly offend someone. And in some of the most ruthless countries that most likely means getting stabbed and left to die alone. Oh, the horror.

Anyways…it is a work in progress and by no means will I succeed at having the trusty weapon of a second language tucked under my belt in a matter of weeks. It might take months or even years to finally watch a movie in Spanish without the English subtitles on. Spanish is a beautiful and artful language that is more flexible than standard American-speak. Words can be rearranged to convey different meanings, unlike English which follows strict guidelines unless you are Shakespeare or Yoda (Different ways, arranged these words they be). I’m getting into the meat and potatoes of an independent at home Spanish course online. It seems to be helping me and I have managed to string a couple of sentences together without the help of Google Translate. Hooray for me. I’m off to a nice start but doubt I will get to the point of speaking effortlessly without paying top dollar for the whole deal, the whole lesson package. If I bought that then I could learn the lessons on the go or when I’m out for walks, instead of being tied down to my computer. One night while my dad was snoozing I was repeating words from the Spanish course in a normal speaking voice. He overheard me and said, between chainsaw snores, “Be quiet”.

Another fantasy of mine has been to visit another country such as China and immerse my self in the language of the land. I’ve heard that’s the most effective way to start building up your confidence because I would be among people of different culture and background. As soon as I got used to their ways the language portion would not seem like such a challenge to me anymore. It would become an extension of myself in a sort of way, another part of me that I can switch on and off whenever the situation calls for it.

Then again, getting dumped into a country I have no experience with would feel like a nightmare for a while. I wouldn’t know what was being said or if people were saying things about me that weren’t very nice. I guess it would be helpful to have a translator on my side. I could be like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai, learning Chinese rather quickly and fluently and then fighting a huge hoard of angry Chinamen and living to tell the tale. Nothing like a fish out of water, eh?

Well, next time I talk I should be able to go a restaurant and order my meal in Spanish – to the annoyance of the waitress who I might impress and score a date with. Or not.

See you later. ¡Hasta la vista, lectores y seguidores!