The Barista Speaks

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I’m not a coffee addict

Coffee for you

Coffee for me

The best thing to wake up

Grounded down to a perfect blend

Preparing it with care

My excellence in frothing

Latte perfect espresso

Your days at the little table

Laptop and a frap

The hipster scarf around your neck

That makes you look so college prepped

A snobbery of the morning hour

Dropping your latest novel draft

Your passion is relentless

While I wipe this bar down

And further pour my dreams

Into little cups of steamy white swirls

Starbucks eyes slowly move about

The snobbery I see

Slowly sinking me into

Anger and fits of rebellion

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My Snob Radar

I have a snob radar for all things in life. Whenever something comes into my radar’s scope, a tiny blip appears, and I hear a distinct ping! in my head, telling me something’s asking for my likeness assessment. As soon as I look at that blip, I can tell if it is a friendly (green) or foe (red); a cheerful chime goes off for the things I like and a warbling siren announces a distasteful entity that must be shot down immediately before it woos me into a liking trap.

Beer is basically all the same for me whether it’s IceHouse, the cheapest I have tried, or Bud Light, The Little King of Beers? I even tried a Samuel Adams Octoberfest once and nothing too new occurred for me. Fosters? Same old cheap beer. PBR? Like landing in a mud pit and getting a mouthful. The same with an obscure one called Third Coast Beer that I received as a birthday gift, and is still sitting in the fridge unfinished. Blue Moon and Heineken were the exceptions though, truly elevating my taste in brewed beverages; their initial good tasting flavor did not let up. Basically all beer is bitter and tastes nasty after it’s been sitting out for a while, the foam washing off the top. If to say I had to cheat a little to get something I like, Shock Top is probably my favorite flavored beer followed by Mike’s. I don’t drink beer much at all so it better be something amazing for me to drink and enjoy it til the last drop. That’s rare.

Coffee has never been strong on the radar, not without adding amounts of sugar and cream to it though taking it black has been tasting better. The flavored cappuccinos, such as Irish Creme and French Vanilla, are pleasant sounds to me.

I don’t drive so being picky about automobiles is silly but if the car is messy and looks like a piece of junk my overall liking for the vehicle lessens.

You can call me a clothes horse; there are two closets and a dresser in my house full of all kinds of shirts. On certain days I don’t feel like wearing a particular tee in my closet; something has to click for me to pick out one and go with it. When shopping there is a bit of trial and error that goes along with certain designs, colors, and of course pricing. Anything that is simple and aesthetically pleasing or iconic will be on my body. I don’t like shirts that have a jumble of words on them or will be irrelevant after a while (shirts with a team’s season schedule on the back) or feature a gaudy image of an athlete on the front that shouts out to people, “Hey, everyone! I’m obvious!”

Processed turkey dinners? Learning to avoid them every time my mom throws them on the table, such as tonight…again. The same goes with hamburger helper, especially when it is dry as dust.

Movies have to go a certain way; a thrilling horror or “challenge” movie such as Saw or the Cube series where the people are put into a situation and have to fight to get out is what I seek. I like a good drama now and then, just nothing too chummy or sappy romantic. Not too big on the superhero flicks; never have seen the Batman or Iron Man movies and only saw one Superman film. I guess I prefer something I can apply my intellect to and find a deeper meaning than some flick that is cheap fun. Movies that generate a lot of hype and are the “go-to” as said by prominent, egocentric figures on television also turn me off.

Music comes in all shapes and sizes for me. I would not say I prefer one genre way more than another, it’s just the individual songs that have to be satisfying for me to want to play them over and over again. Daughtry was my first real favorite band, but after a while this has waned and other bands such as Imagine Dragons and The Killers have taken my top liking. My snob radar greatly pushes away attention-hungry or obnoxious singers such as Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Nicki Minaj and goes for more emotionally satisfying acts such as a couple of country/pop stars by the names of Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood.

There is so much more that my snob radar picks up, but that would surely make this post go over what I call the magic number of 1000. These daily prompts are killing me. It was fun the first few days I did it but now my I’m losing my creative edge. Why does WordPress have to resort to these mundane, boring prompts? I came very late to the post party today.


Even the most laid back and egalitarian among us can be insufferable snobs when it comes to coffee, music, cars, beer, or any other pet obsession where things have to be just so. What are you snobbish about?