“An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse”

“You must eat the cake.”

“No, it’s bad for me.”

“Eat the cake, it is yummy.”

“No, I resist your attempt at hypnotic temptation.”

I push the cake away, giving my captor a furtive look.

“I’m sorry but you can have some orange juice with that as well.”

“If you are going to get me to eat the monstrosity,  you’ll have to try better.”

Just then, an octopus fell down from the ceiling.

“What the –

“Eat the cake,” said the slimy eight legged creature, in a serious tone.

“No! You’re not going to make me. I refuse!”

“This is your master speaking. You will obey my words.”

“If there were a clown here, I might listen to him but I’m definitely not listening to an octopus!”

The octopus wrapped a suction cupped leg around my throat.

“Eat. The. Cake.”

“No…it might…be poison,” I said between gasps of air.

“If you won’t do it, guess I, and the guy over here, are going to have to make an offer you can’t refuse.”

“So…you’re the god…father now? Shut up! Let me…out of these ropes!” (I pushed the cake away with my head).

“Eat the Chocolately goodness and we will release you back into the wild.”

Turns out I was turning into a chimpanzee because I had been secretly injected with a shot that changes my DNA structure.

The octopus and crazy man stared down into my eyes, burning holes in my retinas. Mr. Slimy tightened its grip on my neck.

“Fine! I’ll…ingest…the chocolately…delight! But if I…die –

“Trust me, you won’t die,” said the crazy man.

I bury my head into the chocolate cake and start to eat it, taking in the richness. All of a sudden the room starts spinning fast, my eyes become unfocused, start seeing dazzling colors. Obviously it was an hallucinogen. Actually was kind of nice, the pain in my leg gone. The octopus turned into a tasty looking ice-cream sundae. I flew through the air to chomp down on it but felt a slick smack across my face, propelling me backward into the hazy clouds of this LSD trip out. Ahhhh…


 In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Race the Clock.”

A twist on the “ten minute write” – the tile of your post is “An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse”

The Axed, The New, and the Broken

Prompt: Write for (another) ten minutes without stopping.


For the seventh time, I get to write about anything in ten minutes.

I just found out that “The Millers” has been cancelled. Too bad – it was starting to turn into a good show. But I heard that its numbers were down after four weeks on Monday night and was dragging down CBS’ new hit “Scorpion” which I had low expectations for that have been quite exceeded.

I’m curious as to how “Empire” on FOX in January is going to fair. January always sounds like a great month for new shows to premiere and maybe capture a brand new audience but in reality, it is quite hard sometimes to get attached to a new show and if the ratings are not good after a few episodes (imitates cutting of throat).

So this year is nearly over. I’m finally getting back into uploading videos to my YouTube channel that is still, after two years and some change, a work in progress. I’m thinking about restarting my news show that centers on trending topics in music, sports, videos, and news.

5 more minutes

Our furnace has to be replaced; the old one is early 20 years old. Some techies came over and looked at it. They said they would replace it free of charge unlike some previous technicians who said it would cost over 800 dollars to fix it. The control board melted from the heat getting so high in the furnace. Something about Freon having to be drained as well as it being illegal to replace a furnace with an old, used one that would be cheaper than getting a new installation. We have a downward air furnace, the techs said, which is a bad thing since those aren’t used in many homes, aren’t manufactured. We live in a mobile home and have the short end of the stick when it comes to innovation and remodeling. Can’t do much because we basically live in a limited box on cement slabs.

I hope to get a job in 2015. The 30th anniversary of the first film in the Back to the Future trilogy is set for November and the 10th anniversary of YouTube’s founding is also set for that month – I can expect a huge celebration online, with some of the biggest stars coming together to create a video commemorating the grand occasion.


DP #73: “Ready, Set, Done”

Lazy Prompt Day

Our ten-minute free-write is back! Have no mercy on your keyboard as you give us your most unfiltered self (feel free to edit later, or just publish as-is).


Another ten minute free write? I guess this is the Daily Post’s way of getting off early from work. Some days there is imagination abound and some days the people throw up a Ready, Set, Done just to do something. Nothing thought provoking or specific to a certain topic.

Guy gets up today to post the daily prompt: “Ahh…I’m tired today…Just throw up a ready, set, done and let’s go home for the week day.”

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This is me sleeping last night

I’m beginning to think my college degree is worthless. It’s been about five months since I graduated and still no job. There have been prospects but I haven’t had the gumption to answer them and the field I graduated in is losing interest in myself. My interests are changing rapidly. I’m more into photography and computer design now. I’m also getting big on writing on WordPress (at least for now until the bubble bursts). 5 more minutes, what to write about?

I have never played golf. Been on a golf course once with my grandpa riding the golf cart, watching him play, but I have never had the chance to actually swing a club on an actual green. I got to practice swings at the Jackson Gold Dome but I was terrible, the ball never leaving the ground. I got a little ticked when a teacher behind me said, “Keep trying Matt, you’ll get it” in that false hope voice as if I should just give up.

blah blah blah blah

thoughts on ice

Can’t get through to you can I? No, my words never quite carry very far in the WordPress world. I have some trouble expressing myself in as few words as possible and choosing the right words can be difficult. There’s a lot on my mind but not much happening in my life to really fuel the need to expose those thoughts.

Yeah, my life is quite boring. We make the daily trip commute to Plasma in Lansing two times a week to get money but other than that, my life is uneventful at the moment. I want to go more places. We went a lot of places this summer such as Missouri, to drop my sister Emily off at college, and Wisconsin, to see my sister Liz and her boyfriend/future hubby Shaun and his boy, Jace. I would like to visit a third world country some day but that looks like a pipe dream right now.


Daily Prompt 10/23/14

Chips, Crackers, Speeding

A man is caught speeding on a busy highway. Pulled over to the side of the road. Apparently drunk. The police officer asks for his name and registration, driver’s license, you know the usual.

Then the man scrambles through his glove box, tossing out papers, chip bags, donut wrappers, until finally extracting a sloppy looking license card.

He passes it to the cop with grubby hands. The cop looks at it with beady eyes. Then he spits something on the ground.

“What was that?”, the guy in the car asks.

“Crackers!”

“Huh?”

“Jesus Christ and Crackers! You’re Barack Obama!”

“What? How…?”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. President.”

“What are you talking about? My name is John, I’m just an ordinary Joe who works at the Speedy Gas Station.”

The cop ignores him, adjusts his glasses, and looks at the man with leery eyes.

“Do you know what this means? You’re coming with me, Barack.”

The man supposedly named Barack rolls his eyes and opens the car door. He steps out onto the pavement and steps in the spit crackers.

“Okay, Barack. Get in the car!”

“I’m telling you, my name is John!”

“Get in the car!”

“No!”

“Trying to resist arrest? Then get on the ground, NOW!”

The man obliges, dropping to the rough asphalt on the shoulder of the highway.

The cop starts pacing around John/Barack like a drill sergeant. Cars and trucks zoom by them on the busy freeway, blowing the cop’s hair and his hat almost clear off his head.

“Okay, Barack, I’m just going to ask you one question. What are you going to do when they find out you’ve been arrested for impersonating another U.S. citizen?”

“What? I’m not…”

Then the cop throws down the card in front of “Barack”…and all is apparent. Slapped over the actual picture of John is a Barack Obama postage stamp…it was simply picked up by the immense garbage in the glove compartment; John’s name is clearly legible to right of the picture.

The disgruntled man peers up at it. “Okay, I get it. But let me get this straight…”

But before he can finish, the cop, who was also wearing a ski mask, rips it off with the hat, glasses, and a fake set of hair falling to the ground and a sheath of long blonde hair floating to her shoulders.

“Oh…”, the stunned man gasps, “You’re a blonde – who was once a guy. That explains the confusion”

(My attempt at a blonde joke)


Ready, Set, Done 4

A Week With My Camera

Man, my mind is taxed on this boring day. Just throwing up a bunch of pictures from my week and trying to find something to say.

1008141133-00_01Stop. To come to a full rest. Stop in the name of the law or love. Absolute friction. The enemy of go. This is from the pavement of a store turned 90 degrees. Stop, drop, and go.

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I love the amount of color in these peppers. They are truly wonderful assortments of vegetables. but for all it’s worth, aren’t peppers the same no matter what color they are? Stop light peppers. Cooking essentials. Nuts and bolts of any good chili.

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Tomatoes. No matter how hard I try, it is still not going to make me think of them as a fruit.

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Ooh, it’s a ladybug. Blurry though in this image. Found on the car seat. Orange with black spots. It wasn’t moving so I believe it was dead.

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No stopping, standing, or parking. Very thorough sign that shouts out, “Hey, don’t mess with me, or you’ll be in big trouble!” Red letters have an effect of making it the authority and meaningful. A big warning. NO is clearly established here.

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My cats have been fighting all this week. It is quite hilarious to see them tumble in a ball and wrestle for house dominance.

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The tussle begins…

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And they roll into a ball…

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But now they have made up. But that won’t be long. Frenemies. These cats are something else.

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Goldie sitting in the basket and winking at the moment this shot happened.

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October is here. Pumpkins are laid out over bales of hay. A couple of gourds sleep on top.

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This is what I call an October Sunrise. Taken on the day of the Blood Moon (that I attempted to get a picture with futile results – the best I got was a small orange dot, my junky camera not helping). The transition from dark blue to fiery orange to the black at the bottom is magnificent in this shot. Something definitely worthy of being framed.


Ready, Set, Done 4: When I’m Bored and Have Only Ten Minutes To Come Up With Something Meaningful.


A Walk With My Camera

My walk with my camera was pretty nice. I took a lot of pictures not thinking twice. Rain drops falling on my head, creating spots on my t-shirt and shorts. Cars were rumbling by, their inhabitants unaware of my photographic intentions. It was a fairly depressing day, so quiet and somber. I’m trapped in this little hole of mine, unable to break free and explore the wide open world. I thought about leaving this terrible prison but it just didn’t feel right today with the weather being so unattractive. My hair slicks in my eye, causing it to twitch. I try to find interesting shots but there is nothing around here that wows me. A couple shots of the boulevard, some trees, some of the interesting hues in them but other than that this place is uninteresting. I go up the entrance to where the flag is waving high and mighty. A picture of a colorful tree looming over a bench. On my way back I see a car with an interesting design on it. On the hood is an artistically spray painted image. I walk by this at first, not wondering if I should take the picture with the people home but a couple seconds later double back and get the shot, feeling satisfied. As I continued on, I saw some kids walking the other way, just getting out of school. There was a school bus just passing before them. One kid was kicking a soda can, about in the fourth grade I believe. Another was carrying a small instrument in a case, clarinet or french horn perhaps. They didn’t seem to notice me as I walked on by but I simply shrugged off my moody blues and made them acknowledge that I wasn’t just a creepy loser with no path in sight.

The sky is dark, few clouds in the sky. So wet. So sad. 365 days of photos is hard to accomplish. Trying to add more life into my style, more variety. I walk on home, around the corner, back to humble abode, back up the lazy steps and into the mess of a house. I see my uncle, he asks me where I went, I say around the park. He thinks I’m a stalker.

Ready, Set, Done 3

A Lifetime of Movies

I have seen many movies in my lifetime, so many that is tough to get them all down on a list, which I have been trying to do – in chronological order of viewing.

What was the first movie I saw in my life? I believe it was The Lion King because I vaguely remember seeing it when I was about three, but I can’t be positively sure.

The most recent film I have seen (as of September 25) was Visiting Hours, which was about a prominent media woman who has strong views about another woman who got murdered and a psycho killer who comes after her, stalking and eventually getting killed, ironically, by the woman he was chasing to murder. It had William Shatner in it, whose part was hugely underwritten. The movie was an OK horror film, not the typical 80s slasher I thought it would be but had a nice flow to it and told a story without getting too cliché.

One of the best movies I have seen was World War Z. Brad Pitt totally showed a different side in his character that I had not seen before and the appearance of the zombies was spectacular. They really got down the science well with them. Well, science is a stretch.

I believe one of the worst movies I have seen was called Town & Country. There was no direction at all and the writing and acting were terrible. This was one of the last movies for Warren Beatty. It also starred Jenna Elfman and Diane Keaton who is still going strong. This was back when I was attempting to watch all the worst movies on a list of the worst. Another movie on that list was Showgirls which I did not think was all that bad (the nudity part was intriguing). When I watched some of it back it turned out to be pretty good.

I don’t go to the theaters much these days, preferring to watch movies on Netflix, DVD/Blu-ray, or rip them off the internet like a pirate. So yeah, I’m part of the reason why Hollywood and the film industry is suffering. Yeah right.

About a minute left…ho…hum…

My favorite actor has got to be Johnny Depp just because he is so funny and deadpan humorous in many of his films but can also play a straight man when needed. His last two films, Transcendence and The Lone Ranger, didn’t fare too well at the box office or with the critics but I didn’t think the latter was all that bad. I haven’t seen Transcendence. Yeah, TLR was silly but Disney is all I can say. For kids and adults.

That’s it for today.


In Response to the Daily Prompt: Ready, Set, Done 2: The Return of the Free-Write