The value of the written word is undeniable. What was once written before can be passed down to the next person and the person after that. Words having a lasting effect. Into any language they can be translated and understood. There are words from millennia ago that are still being read today. Words have power.
I’m an avid Wikipedia reader, reading and taking in numerous articles everyday, learning new things about life, history, and everything else. I guess I have nothing better to do than keep acquiring knowledge about the most random things that come to my mind. I guess I can attribute my soaking up of knowledge to the overall size of my cranium. I’ve been told I’ve had a big head a couple of times, feeling rather insulted, but learning to accept it. I’ve found that most ballcaps barely fit my head, me having to adjust the strap to the widest position. Having a big head doesn’t necessarily mean you are smart though and could just be genetics. Maybe I should take that as an honor.
And now I have found a word that deserves a new twist
It is shampoo, and it’s a word that just has to exist
A brief explanation:
Shampoo is a word that originally came from India and was adopted into English around the late 1700s. It is derived from the Hindu word chāmpo, itself derived from the Sanskrit root capayati – to press, knead, soothe.
Shampoo your hair. Shampoo the carpet. Shampoo the dog.
In the modern, more interesting sense:
Hundreds of years from now, or even earlier, the word shampoo will go from being solely a name for a cleaning product to describing the process of cleaning, scrubbing, or erasing anything in general.
When applied to humans, to be shampoo is to be squeaky clean and free of any criminal record. A shampoo man or woman is someone who is a natural, law-abiding citizen and strives to do what is right and teach others to as well.
As a verb, it could mean to free someone of charges or prove that they are innocent.
“I’m going to shampoo your name and save you from going to jail.”
“That man couldn’t hurt a soul. He’s the most shampoo person I’ve seen.”
“The politicians tried to dig up dirt on the presidential candidate, but all they found was a purely shampoo profile.”
Will this catch on in real life? Only time can tell. I believe it will start as an urban slang word and gradually work its way into the mainstream dialect
It still eludes me so. I take two steps forward, two steps back, lose my grip, fall down hard, but always get back up and try again. The grass is always greener. There’s always tomorrow. Failure is what makes me stronger, it is not a bad thing, it is an essential ingredient to any success story. And the more I fail the more I learn. The more I learn how not to fail.
It takes patience, skill to reach the plateau. I’m still fighting my troubles, my worries, and my demons. I want to get up there, up to the place where everything’s swell, where all the others bask in the glory, but a door always blocks my way. I try to get in, but am always rejected, being given a good kick to the shins. “Not yet,” a cold hard voice always shouts at me. And sometimes it’s a few stumbles back down the ladder, having to readjust and fix my mistakes.
I mistook success to be instant gratification, an overnight conversion, when in reality it’s a lifetime battle, a struggle against odds. I must perfect my craft if I am to move on. I must seize the dream I desire and start making it a reality. That must be my problem. I’ve never had any goals in mind. Life has always been a vague mystery to me. There’s always been a dark shadow looming over myself. I’m finally seeing the light though, a sense of direction. I’ll get there someday, just with the scars of many battles fought and setbacks experienced. My blogging experience for one has seen many posts trashed, hours wasted to only get nothing in return. Discouragement I get. I start to believe I’m a good writer and the infamous zeros stare back at me. I’m all of a sudden an amateur again, shades of 2013. This post is not just about that in general but about all the failures in my life that I have had to live with. I’ve gone to many job interviews in my life and so far only came back with one yes, which turned out to a total scam because everyone got “hired” right on the spot. My short stint as a sales rep selling knives I’m speaking of.
They always tell you as a kid you can grow up to be whatever you want to be, that the sky’s the limit to potential. Well, I’m just now figuring out what exactly that is. Is it a chef? A photographer? A designer? An engineer? A writer? A profound blogger? I’m taken some of the steps to reach my goals, learning valuable skills and lessons along the way. I’ve gone to college and graduated. I’ve gained valuable skills at an internship. The signs are finally being pointed in the right direction, the words becoming visible in my minds eye. Blurriness is subsiding. That grey matter of the unknown is finally disappearing. I no longer see the world in just black and white. It’s not just a simple yes or no but there are multiple avenues I can choose.
I have a one track mind. When I get to doing something, I can only focus on it and only it and exclude out everything else around me. When I’m in blog mode, it’s full concentration, my thoughts being channeled into my ideal inspiration. Any distractions throw my off completely. When I accidentally erase my entire post 500 words in and it can’t be recovered, I throw my hands up, the love put into all those words moot points then. When I’m deep into reading a good novel, any disturbances upset me and ruin my flow. When I’m in the middle of a tough battle in a video game, my full attention must be on not letting the enemy get the upper hand, not pinning me in a corner. Of course, video games aren’t real life. You can always die and try again. You can also cheat your way to success. A Up Up Down Up B. In real life you go to jail for that.
So I’m finally figuring out success. Or success is finally figuring me out. It’s not what you gain in life that makes you great, it’s what brings you happiness each day you set about doing what you love. Money = success, yes, but without the joy and happiness that comes along with that wealth, and the friends and family to share it with, it is a cold lonely life for the individual. I would love to make lots of money doing what I love, but I would never want to outcast my family and never speak to them again.
So, out of the blue let’s say we don’t call a chair a chair anymore. Instead, it is called…a jastelo. A random word from my mind that replaces the old aged one, something new and exciting. Google auto-correct suggests that it be changed to tasteless. Hmm…that’s interesting. Maybe I don’t have any taste in choosing this word. There’s really no meaning behind it. I just felt like pulling a Frindle on this one since I’ve lacking creativity to think of something sensible. By the way, that book is nearly 20 years old, and the last time I heard it read was back in third grade by a much younger Mr. Davidson.
Jastelo [jos – tell – oh] : a piece of furniture used for reclining or relaxation. Coined by a tasteless blogger sometime in 2015.
“Hey, thanks for joining us. Pull up a chair, mate.”
“A chair. Come join us. We’ve got cards and cold beer.”
“What’s a chair?”
“What do you mean? A chair is what you sit in, you silly bloke. Grab one from that table over there.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is jastelo.”
“Huh? Jastelo? Quit messing around, that’s not a word, least one I’ve heard of yet.”
“Sure it is. You’re all sitting in jastelos now. Kind of old and worn but they serve well.”
“So, you’re saying that you’ve decided to replace the ordinary word chair with this nonsense word you apparently made up?”
“Yup, and everyone is going to be using it in no time. From now on, no one will say chair again.”
“You sure about that? I can think of a two million people who would be happy with saying cha –
“No, say jastelo. This has to catch on. First this entire pub, then the entire city, then the state, then the country, then the world, and then aliens from other worlds will pick up on the word – just kidding about that.”
“You’re a crazy nutter, ya know that?”
“Say that again in about a year when this thing goes viral.”
“Okay then. Grab a jastelo and get ready to witness the greatest card player in the world take down these goons. Or should I call this game…folps?”
“Nah, won’t catch on.”
One year later….
“Alright, kids. Who wants to play musical jastelos?”, asks a teacher to her group of kindergartners.
“Yeah!”, they all scream, piling around the carpet.
A video is shot of another instance of this game with a new name and seen on YouTube. I happen to watch it and smile, reclining and relaxing in my chair – I mean jastelo. At least two-thirds of the world now use the word jastelo everyday – and it’s universal in language as well, replacing that other word that was becoming dull and unimaginative.
Doing a random Google search for my new word, I find over two million hits for it, from mentions on blogs, news sites, videos, and in the title of trending songs as well, one by country superstar Brad Paisley – “As I Sit In My Jastelo (Waiting For You)”.
March 6, 2017
“Welcome to channel 7 news at six. This is Brian McGregor reporting.”
“Thank you. Our first topic of the evening has to do with the Washington school board voting down the 24/7 use of police officers around the school. The head jasteloman of the board – there’s that word again that has taken the world by storm – spoke with us today about the issue.”
“So, Mr. Chair – I mean Jasteloman, what made the board decide to vote this down?”
“Well, we figured having an all day surveillance around the building would cost more money and would not be very good for student and faculty moral as well. We want to create a safe environment but not one that has everyone in fear.”
Sometime in 2070
They all gathered around the gravestone in the evening tribute, over three thousand people ranging from famous celebrities, jubilant fans, important businessman and friends and family. There was a grand musical performance by a famous singer as well as a large banquet of delicious food.
On this person’s headstone said this:
Here lies the creator of the word jastelo. May we forever use it with pride and respect.
Time to confess: tell us about a time when you used a word whose meaning you didn’t actually know (or were very wrong about, in retrospect).
Dictionary, schmictionary – and other nonsense phrases from the people who brought us WordPress and the Daily Post – and now they want me to confess a word I remember using incorrectly. What do they mean by confess? It’s not like it’s an embarrassing thing for me to have used a cool sounding word and then had it snatched out my hands from the big bully called Dictionary and his (or her) little brother Thesaurus Rex; I’ve got nothing to hide. Well you know what, company run by a parent that screams of sweat labor and autonomous machines, you can suck it, cause after nearly a whole day of trying to find a word, I still have nothing.
Basically my thoughts during the process: Trying to think of a word…some amazing word I remember using wrongly…searching the memory banks…ugh, so vague…c’mon mind, give me something…no, not exuberant or skulduggery…guess I’ll consult Google and Mr. Webster.
So below are just some rather intelligent, impressive sounding words – that one might find lodged into a verbose university research paper coming off as snobbish and rude – used in respected ways:
Leo Arnold’s strong acumen was the key to the failing business getting back on it’s feet. True, his tutelage for the company’s assets and shares made the process a lot less tenacious. Growing up in a house run by a majordomo had a big effect on Arnold’s later roles in life, assuming the helmsman role of his squads, taking charge when needed. His bourgeois upbringing is what led him to become the CEO of a major energy company, knowing first-hand how the middle-class thought and what their sine qua non was.
I love the word “bourgeois” – just figured out how to pronounce it today and it sounds gorgeous, with that smooth French flow off the tongue. An image and smell of red roses comes to mind. I also discovered the definition for it as well – applying to the middle class. Bourgeois does not entirely explain my family, even though we are in the middle class, since we are not materialistic or occupied with small-minded things; the feature image has nothing to do with my life, I just love the word.
Joseph Stalin, the notorious Soviet Union demagogue, had another, more convoluted name, by that of Iosif Vissarionovich Stalin; born Ioseb Besarionis Dze Jugashvili. Yeah, try saying the latter name even two times fast.
You know what they said back then in Russia when somebody was holding up the line? Ostanovka Stalin! (Stop Stalin!)
A pernicious gas by the name of Adolf Hitler billowed through the high streets of Germany during the 1930s and ’40s – and I’m using that in an ironic way.
Margaret Lovehue traipsed into the meeting with complete insouciance to the fact that she was late, her nonchalant behavior definitive of her so-called gift wrapped life.
Fernando ambulated into the sweet-scented room and was immediately awestruck by the voluptuous arrangements all around, not to mention the sultry woman who came sauntering out of the debonair bathroom wearing nothing but skimpy lingerie.
Wait…I think I just did it…I used “debonair” in the sentence above, looked it up, and discovered it had been used in the incorrect way. A debonair is someone who is careful, elegant, and gracious in nature, especially pertaining to a man…and after some careful scavenging, found no mention of it pertaining to a place or thing like the bathroom that doesn’t have a personality; it just popped into my head as I was writing and I thought it sounded peachy keen. So there you go. Found something after playing around a bit with words. Happy now, WordPress?