An Awesome Mind

Pull up a chair. It’s time to get personal again. Enter the wonderful world of Matthy again. So much has changed in my life since I stopped posting regularly on here, taking a sort of hiatus to focus on other things in my life. I really really miss doing this. Getting back on here and starting to write again is giving me this rush of happiness and excitement I haven’t felt in a while. It is remarkable. It is like I am filling in a gaping hole in my heart that has been in need of some tender loving care for some time now.

I see that there is no longer a daily writing prompt on here or a Weekly Photo Challenge, two things I really loved doing because they sparked so much creativity in me and fired up ideas. Not that I really needed them but they were like security blankets or safety nets, catching you when you are in need of an idea or afraid that what you are going to post isn’t really that worthy of reading.

So here is some things that have happened…

I’ve restarted my first YouTube channel and it is actually doing pretty decent now and I’ve never been more happy making videos than ever before. I’ve started a YouNow channel/broadcast and have grown that tremendously, meeting and making so many friends across the entire world, some in my own state, something I never thought would even be possible. It has truly been an inspirational journey for me and it is only getting started.

Shaylee, Shaylee, Shaylee, Shaylee. Literally the greatest friend to come out of YouNow. We have learned so much about each other and have shared so many experiences. Fortnite every night it literally seems now. Her mom passed away in October 2018 from Stage 4 progressive cancer. Very sad and emotional moment for the both of us.

There are many others on there that have become such a big part of my life. Within a few months of streaming, I met a nice girl on there named Carolina (last name still up for debate) and we kind of fell into a relationship, talking with each other every day and video chatting, watching baseball games together, listening to music with each other. That was in July 2017, we still are friends to this day and hopefully I want to meet this nice sweet girl someday and maybe start dating her in real life.

I’ve also moved into a new house after living in the trailer park home of mine for almost seven years. It is one of the most beautiful houses I have ever lived in. The bathroom is the star of the show. Probably the most beautiful bathroom I have ever had in a house. The mirror seems to stretch across the entire room and looks like it’s out of one those rich mansions I have always longed to have.

I won a contest run by vitaminwater back in September 2018 and received a choice of either accepting a paid trip to New York, Chicago, or Los Angeles or accepting a $5,000 check. I chose the check obviously. The check came in the mail that I was super excited about but…here’s the catch…it may be fake. I took it to the bank and tried to cash it but they were very skeptical about it calling up random people and trying to contact the company, HelloWorld, that sent me the check. They gave me a website and number to reach. I tried both of those methods but haven’t had much luck yet. There is only one other option left on my quest to figure out if this check is legit or not: going to Southfield, Michigan and getting an answer straight from the horse’s mouth. I will wave that 5k check in front of the CEO of the company if I have to try to see if this check is real and not just a marketing scam. I don’t think it is because why would they go through all this trouble, waiting 8-9 weeks to send me it in a UPS envelope, just to send me a fraud check. Well, if anyone there at the HelloWorld HQ says “oh we don’t know what that is, you should probably contact so and so” or “we really can’t help you with that since the contest was over months ago and we are no longer answering questions” then I’m going to be really mad, pissed actually. But if they say “oh yeah, this is a real check made out by our company, it is safe to cash it” I will literally jump for joy. Guess first thing I’ll do is go out and buy a new iPhone. Then put the rest in a secure savings account and let it build interest. Die a rich man.

Until then my hopes and dreams are on hold of being set for life.

Pray For Manchester

They didn’t deserve to die in their state of innocent bliss. The kids at that concert were just having a great time watching their idol Ariana Grande sing – I know I would have if I were there even if I wasn’t the biggest Ariana fan. I feel sympathy for all of those who lost their lives. It’s great that everyone came together and paid their tributes to the fallen in Manchester. Not to wish anything bad on anyone, but I do hope that whoever did this gets what’s coming for them: a lifetime of suffering and punishment. If they don’t care that a packed house of people, many of them children and teens, have their lives ended in a flash of a second, then why should we give them any forgiveness?

Today we band together for Manchester in the United Kingdom and hope that those that lost their loved ones can make it through their sadness and despair. Life will move on as usual but for the families of the victims, there will always be a gaping hole that can never be patched up. It’s another in a series of attacks in the UK that have happened on the 22nd. Why the 22nd? Is it just a coincidence? Or a deeper conspiracy? I don’t know but there are probably some good theories to it that I would love to explore.

 

Kids in the Street

This video went viral on social media today and is quite fascinating to watch. I just had to do something interesting with it.

YouTube Rewind 2016

Another year of YouTube is nearly in the books. To celebrate 2016’s greatest moments, the annual Rewind is back again and better than ever.

This is my reaction video. Enjoy!

My Own Private Hell

Image result for hell

It seems like most days I am stuck in a state of confusion,boredom, and sameness. I can’t escape this prison that is my life right now, because there is no where else to go. At times, I feel so vulnerable, so invisible. I try as I might but I am trapped in my head, unable to find the answer. I’m sorry but I can’t be that insane crazy funny guy everyday like the world seems to think everyone should be. Some people can just turn on the switch instantaneously and act like nothing is wrong. I just can’t keep up with that.

Being in a constant state of peace that comes from retreating to being by myself is something I enjoy. I find that the more I hang around others, the more tired I get because I can’t keep up with the constant energy. Being in a constant state of peace is great because it means I don’t have to feel sad all the time.

Image result for my own private hell
Some people don’t understand depression

When I find that even ground and can feel happy and not depressed, I am okay. But I do get depressed a lot because I feel as if my life is moving way too slow and isn’t really getting anywhere. It helps that I get a disability check every month now, mostly because I am unable to drive a car and find an actual job.That’s what it’s all come to, my life, taking advantage of the Internet’s vast resources to make my life that much more fulfilling. I want to have a voice in this day and age, to stand up for the people that otherwise have a tough time speaking for their selves.

flat·ter·y: 
noun
  1. excessive and insincere praise, especially that given to further one’s own interests.

It’s very flattering when I get compliments from others on here and elsewhere. I feel less lonely and apart of a much bigger group.

I just want someone to love. That’s all. I know it is sometimes hard for me to express myself and when others have much louder voices than I do, I get drowned out easily. I want to be the best version of myself I can be. I want to own up to my ultimate potential, want to be able to do everything I can in this life.

 

Flattery

Hopscotch

 photo hopscotch_zps4w4cty1y.jpg

The edges of the hopscotch squares, the mirror of a childhood pastime. Many different countries play this game and the rules are slightly different in some, as a video I found explains.

Edge, Mirror

20 Years of Coldplay

Coldplay turns 20 this year. From 1996 to 2016 they have released seven albums and have won seven Grammy Awards. They weren’t always known by Coldplay but by the names Pectoralz and Starfish before settling on their official name in 1998.

Here is a song written for their debut album “Parachutes” released in March 2000. As you can see, the music video is very raw and unedited, filmed on what looks a small soundstage. It originally aired on MTV before being uploaded to YouTube in 2011.

Shiver

 

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared 

 

I watched this series of videos on YouTube yesterday, prompted by “The Film Theorists”, and didn’t even know what to think. It was the weirdest adventure. They start off like educational videos and then go into a creepy sequence of disturbing images and shock moments. “Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared” has got to be the most beautiful and artistic creation I’ve seen so far. Unlike some viral videos, this one makes you think. It’s deep and layered with a message that is not so easy to understand. The unpredictability witnessed by someone who has never watched these is amazing – it was especially for me.

Now, this sixth and final one (though fans have tried to make their own theorized 7th) is obviously dealing with death. The three puppet friends are in some kind of purgatory. Scenes, characters, and dialogue from the previous episodes are featured. The Yellow Guy lies in bed thinking about his friends that have gone missing, reflecting with an old photo album. The talking lamp tells him how he can dream about the most morbid and nightmarish things and then characters from the previous episodes, such as the steak and clock, randomly appear and disappear in the room one by one, faster and faster until Yellow Guy is going insane.

Oh, and the songs in these videos are catchy as ever, especially in the first video that sings about creativity. “Green is not a creative color”. Why? The first one was probably supposed to be a one time thing done for kicks, but after people started talking about it and theorizing, a Kickstarter program was initiated to fund the second and subsequent ones. I must have watched the sixth one numerous times. It’s such a timeless creation. The whole series, while rather short, is unique. It’s time to fund a “Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared” feature length film.

College 2.0

Should I go back to college? Or not?

That is the question

What do I want to get out of this?

Is it going to really help me?

Should I get a job now?

I never went to a university and got to experience the real college life and now I feel so old going back.

I was so afraid of going far from home back when I first went to college in 2010. I hadn’t even decided on a major yet and now I know more about life than anything I ever got out of a college class.

I’m almost 25 and still have no job after graduating at 22 (went to a two year college for an associate’s). The path to a great life is becoming more and more straight and narrow. If I want to have those memories everlasting, I’ll have to get out and actually meet people. Of course, I have passions and talents already developing where I sit, so what is the point in trying to learn more things and taking all of those useless classes when I can easily (well, not that easy) make money doing what I love now. There are opportunities for photographers and I just have to go for them. There are ways of making money on YouTube if I really dedicate myself to the platform.

I just have to make a decision on what is best for me. Going through another round of panic inducing anxiety is not needed.

Get An Edge

Gaming is really only a profession when you can make a substantial amount of money off of it, otherwise it is something anyone can do when they are a) bored or b) when they want to prove to their friends that they can beat that difficult level. It’s actually quite silly to me that anyone could make money off of playing video games but that is the world we live in now. In the professional gaming world, being a thrilling commentator is the key to success. You have to entertain the audience, engage with them, keep them interested in your content. And with there being thousands of YouTube gaming channels out there, it is getting more and more important to have an edge, something that sets you apart from the rest, because the majority of these gamers are cookie cutter trend followers.

My gaming channel was originally named MacEdgeGamer before I simply called it Macbofisbil because I wanted to include other kinds of content besides just gameplays and it fit with my brand better. Yeah, I’m not currently on any sort of radar with this channel but I can at least know that it is following a theme this time, unlike my other channels which were all over the place in terms of content and quality. There is at least hope and not a steaming pile of rubbish.

Speaking of other edges, here is a picture of a carnation filled table I took today, from the end of the table.

The Table's Edge

One Word Prompt: Edge