It was during my senior year of high school. This was the year that I truly felt like a new person, walking with a roaring confidence and having an energetic but blinded outlook on life. Listening to music through my brand new iPod was a powerful medicine for me, uplifting my spirits everyday, me gliding and strutting down the halls with my head held high and a never before seen determination in my eyes, feeling really positive and I might say a bit cocky.
It was one wild year for me in which I may have overreacted and gotten caught up in the moment, forgetting about the important stuff I needed to take care of such as preparing for college. I was so keen on being the “popular” kid that I may have done some insensible and out of character stuff, such as the time I was late for chemistry and I walked in and yelled out my name as the teacher was giving attendance, quickly sitting down at an empty table to some mutters from the class. I felt so stupid for making myself known like that.
I love dancing, the movement of legs, arms, and feet that is more of a form of self expression than anything else. It brings out raw emotions that I usually never wear on my sleeve, are very hard to detect. Well there was one time during my senior year where this may had turned a bit ridiculous and I had finally thought I had enough of it.
Lonestar’s “Amazed” is one song I will never hear the same again, or will be able to listen to at all for that matter. It’s one song that has deep emotional meaning and imagery to it. It used to be one of my favorite songs until that one night on the cafeteria dance floor. The song started playing as soon as I started dancing with a girl at one of my final high school dances. It was a rather uncomfortable moment and one I have to say I would like to forget. I could clearly tell she, who was named Tessa, was rather uncomfortable and wanted to get away from me. I wasn’t looking at her face but had my head resting on her shoulder. I could see her look of disgust and wanting to get this over as soon as possible. It didn’t help that I was sweaty and maybe salivating on her shoulder (let’s hope not). When the song mercifully ended, she quickly ran away out of the cafeteria dance floor, looking back at me blankly and leaving me standing there looking confused and kind of let down and foolish. Before she took off I quietly said “That was kind of nice”. But then my ignorance quickly slapped me in the face. I asked her across the floor if she would like to dance with me; she quickly said yes. I thought it was going to be fun and not at all creepy and awkward. I was wrong.
Clearly “Amazed” was a wrong choice of song to dance with someone I had barely talked to my whole life and was more in the distant friendzone than anything romantic. I accidentally knocked her off her desk once in fourth grade during a game of silent ball, though I didn’t know I did it until another girl laughed out loud in amusement, everyone else joining in. She was okay and found it rather hilarious herself.
The next day as I was walking to my locker on the right, I saw Tessa near hers on the left talking with a friend. She looked at me with just a peculiar stare and I was too embarrassed to look at her and just promptly proceeded to my locker to get ready for that day. That was the last I saw of her until at an open house party of a Tyler I attended. I saw her and again was still embarrassed to do or say anything except quickly look down and move ahead as I was leaving.
So this song really provokes an embarrassing and quite awkward moment in my life. It’s too painful to listen to now because it’s got an added personal meaning and isn’t so innocent to me anymore. Of course, I might just be overthinking this – I mean, come on, it was just a silly high school dance. The song came on at an inopportune moment. It was the kind of song that was probably more fitting for two who were already in love, not two that were merely acquaintances from elementary school and really had nothing in common.
The last time I heard it was in my mom’s car. I tried to drown it out by covering my ears. I commented on how I hate this song because it’s sickening, my mom tsking in disbelief, when in reality it always brings up that uncomfortable dance moment with Tess. Maybe I’ll get over that feeling eventually. I think I might have started to break the ice on Facebook with this girl by responding to a post she wrote about her dad dying and she seemed to like that. Maybe we could just be friends and not go any further than that in fear of things feeling uncomfortable. Oh, who am I kidding, that was five years ago. She’s likely forgotten the whole thing by now. Unless she thinks the same thing whenever this song comes on the radio and cringes at the thought of that awkward dance. It’s a great love song but I believe it may be just a little too deep for the lightest and most casual of encounters.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Always Something There to Remind Me.”