The blogging year for me hasn’t been quite that great. I’ve posted less and have lost focus on keeping a consistent style. This stems from the fact that I have started to care less about running a blog and more about just enjoying my life as it is and feeling free to do what I want, like rediscovering the joys of watching YouTube again and playing video games. My purpose with blogging is it to simply learn how to write and express my thoughts, in ways that I have a hard time doing out loud. Sure I want to become successful at this…someday…but I don’t want it to become such a burden in my life that I have no time for anything else anymore. That is why I fallen off the pace so much because following a daily posting schedule was just proving to be too hard. But I guess I need to get motivated again in order to continue blogging with a purpose. Getting hungry again means looking down the road and figuring out my goals, whatever they may be. I don’t care if it isn’t always shiny and full of luster or that I’m hitting the right buttons each time, I just want to make sure I am still having fun and actually feeling like I have a life.
There are so many smart people in this world, many of them way smarter than I am. I am always envious to be on their level, to think and act like them, because there is something so brilliant in taking life for more than what it is.
Am I ambitious enough for this high stakes world? I’m not really sure. I definitely still have many things to accomplish, many things to prove. I feel as if my message hasn’t quite gotten out there yet, is still circling around in a current or acting as a boomerang, always coming straight back to me with a return address as if they aren’t interested. I hate those thoughts that say I can’t do something, that I’m crazy for even thinking I can.
That’s the problem I have right now with wanting to achieve something much greater than myself, that I have to go to such great lengths to do it, have to enter quite a few scary situations, do a few crazy things to realize I can. Living in a small town is difficult for the dreamer because you don’t often have access to the people that will help you get over the barrier, you’ll often be faced with derision and feelings of hopelessness. There are many people around me that are negative about life, that have never realized their full capabilities. They are scared. Scared of change. They might as well become a product of the system than do anything differently. There are two sides to my family – the people that that took the road to a happy, fulfilling life of wealth and success, and the people that took the simpler path to a more average life that doesn’t have much in the way of prospects, is full of dead ends, but they are happy anyway.
I’m tired of wanting to shut myself away from the world. I want to shine, but it’s always painful to come out of my comfort zone. Over the past few years I’ve been working to find a place where I am most comfortable, which has always seemed to be in a space where I am alone, but not too alone as to elicit depressive thoughts. Too much social contact tends to drain my batteries and I need to be alone to recharge.
I hear it all the time: you have to be persistent, you have to keep working hard, you have to make them believe in you. There is always one more mile to go to making yourself better. Having an ambition means committing your life to accomplishing goals and knocking down barriers that are in your way. And the more people you meet and follow that have the same kind of dreams as you do, the more you realize they aren’t so crazy and ridiculous after all.
What’s one piece of great advice you’ve read recently? Or what’s the best bit of wisdom you’ve ever received?
“Always follow your dreams” – a message I saw on a billboard the other day while going down the notorious 1-94 in Michigan. Dreams are there to act upon. If you don’t wake up and start doing something about them, they will never come true. The dreamer is a hopeless soul; the doer is the one with most success in life. Dreamers believe but never achieve; Doers believe and go right ahead getting done what needs to be done. They don’t worry about the results – they learn to look at the bigger picture and see what they can do better.
If you ask some of the greatest chefs in the world what they did to get to their level of mastery in the culinary world, they would say they had to start right at the bottom and work their way to the top. They would say they didn’t have a shortage of days where they just failed miserable and were critiqued badly, and where they kept hearing about the famous chefs above them opening 5-star restaurants and wondering if they were silly for thinking they could possibly do the same thing. But they kept fighting and kept their head above water, continuing to learn and grow and eventually get to their current spot in life
I want to be a doer but the dreamer side of me is still quite fascinated by the mythical thing known as success. A couple of times I’ve tried to act out these dreams of mine only to realize the tough reality: achieving them takes so much effort and a lot of luck. Much of achieving your dreams requires actually having other people around you to help, to collaborate and pitch in their own creative ideas. But when your people skills are not very good, going it alone always feels like the best choice, even if it would be extremely hard to achieve what you want to do.
My piece of advice, based on my previous experiences, is to not let the negativity get to you. Shut out the voices that say you’re not good enough or not talented enough for your dream profession, whatever it is. Most of all, block out the haters that try to destroy your confidence and keep you from continuing on your path. Or leverage all of the negative talk and use it to make yourself the best ever. The grass is always greener on the other side – look to the alternatives to see what could be better.
Aerosmith tells us to “Dream on…dream until your dreams come true” but the song should really be “Wake up…wake up and make your make your dreams come true”. Your dreams are hopeless without a plan set in motion. Like building a skyscraper, it always starts with a solid foundation.
The door to eternal happiness is a fickle one. It seems to move all over the place like the target games at the fair. One minute you believe you have the answer, the next you are wondering if the path you chose was the right one along with thoughts of “if I could just go back and change things”. There seems to be no right path in life. There is no real answer. Life is what you make of it. You either win or lose based on your choices. It’s life and death and what you do in between is what really matters, is the difference between you being remembered or simply forgotten like a leaf in the breeze. The door holds a lot of mystery. A lot of white light. A lot of possibilities.
I am going through a door but there is no definitive light at the end; there is a foggy mist of mystery. The light flickers and flashes but it doesn’t call out for me. I’m running into this mist with a sword and shield, ready to face whatever pitfall comes my way. The ground is shaky but solid – I have an idea of where I am heading but there is always doubt in my mind. Points are being laid out as I go. My internal GPS is directing me toward a far off location. Based off my immediate families lives, the destination could be living a normal life with a good paying job but no chance for advancement or the life of a perpetual loner who is set in his ways and has basically nothing else to look forward to but the most trivial, unimportant things – his life, for the most part, has never produced the sort of wings that allow one to soar over the mountains and explore all there is to know. He is trapped in a world of fear, unable to venture outside of his comfort zone. This comfort zone is crippling. It holds you back from living the most ideal life. You stand on the sidelines watching everyone else rise to unprecedented heights while you’re the one filling the water bottles wondering what might happen if you just take a chance.
I suppose it’s up to me to figure out what I want to do. It’s up to me to figure out where I want to be in the next ten years, which is definitely not still sitting on this same couch brooding about what I could have done but in a place of my own thinking about what I’m happy to have accomplished. My journey through life is not complete yet. There’s still a number of plans I’m hoping fall into place once the means to achieve them become possible. I’m not planning on getting married for a long while, not until all of the pieces fall into place. I’m not even in the situation right now to marry anyone. It would be premature and kind of silly. Save the best ’til last and don’t waste the moment.